Yearbook

As I mentioned earlier, I'm in yearbook. I really love it so much, but I really don't at the same time, mostly for social reasons.  I really wanted to be editor next year, but I'm the events coordinator. (I didn't know that job existed until about two weeks ago) I'm really upset about it, because my teacher told my mom she thought about making me editor. Mom doesn't understand. She's proud because that's her job, but she doesn't get that she really got my hopes up, and then I didn't get it. I'm more ashamed that I told a lot of people I thought I was going to be editor, only to tell them differently. But, not to make this a sad post, I really like who got to be editor next year. She's going to be a good one, and she's going to be a senior next year so she kind of gets her time to shine. So then maybe I get it senior year? Who knows. But the only thing that confused me was that she told me she was quitting.

As always, xoxo

(Almost) end of the year review

Wow. Time has truly flown by. I completely forgot that I even had this blog until some girls started making their own. Sophomore year has started, and yes, it has been a little better than freshman year. Not horrible like some years, but not great. I've learned a lot, made new friends, and experienced different things. But still not a great year.

I'm still incredibly anxious, and still really sad. I wish I wasn't, but I'm constantly reminded of what I don't expereince and how much happier other people are. I want to be out with friends all the time, but since I don't have a license nor do my friends, it really limits us to what we can do. Not only that, but I don't feel like my friends really like me and want me to hang out with them. I feel SO out of the loop all the time. I don't feel like even my best friend wants to talk to me, because she has someone better to tell her secrets to.

Regardless, it's been an up and down year. My school gave everyone an iPad, and I've been trying to learn self-control. My grades have slipped because of these stupid iPads, but luckily I've gotten them back now. I've had trouble trying to focus on schoolwork, and I have little to no motivation to do any studying. I'm in yearbook, and it's been great. I love knowing what I'm working towards. But I feel like I don't belong there. I don't feel like I've really become good friends with the staffers and I feel out of place when I'm with them. Whatever. There's always next year.

Anyways, hers a little catch up for not being on here since August. xoxo

Hi, its Marielle (Mary-el)

summer's almost over, which means that school is starting. School is one of my least favorite places ever, so I'm not excited at all about starting it. School for me is where all my anxieties begin. Where all the friends start and end and where the insecurities start.

My town is a very preppy town, where oversized t-shirts, nike shorts, vineyard vines, and rich southerners meet. Because my school's regular attire is this, its not much fun for people like me, who don't like that and would rather look better than everyone.

This year, I hope school will be different. I'm going to be a sophomore in high school, which means that I know the ropes of high school better. This gives me a relief for my anxiety, but at the same time it makes it harder. My classes aren't going to be with the other kids, it's going to be exclusively for people who are in the Academies (which I'm not going to explain myself because effort) but basically I'm going to use more technology in my learning and learn more like a ""Twenty-First Century Learner"" which basically means more projects for me.

I think that the academies will be good for me, a restart for me and my crappy freshman year. And because I'm going to be with the same kids for the next 3 years, I really hope that I like it.

xoxo.